Aileen_de: I need a few minutes, sorry.
koifishbishhh: it’s important
koifishbishhh: not an emergency, but
koifishbishhh: well it’s a thing and we need to talk about it
Aileen_de: I was setting up for the show.
koifishbishhh: now? not even four yet, lol
koifishbishhh: you have like six hours
Aileen_de: Oh, you didn’t hear?
koifishbishhh: no what
Aileen_de: The night before yesterday something happened. You know Mike?
koifishbishhh: OH WAIT
koifishbishhh: the big guy
koifishbishhh: with the like
koifishbishhh: the finger thing
Aileen_de: You mean the guy missing his thumb?
Aileen_de: That’s Keel.
koifishbishhh: then I don’t know who Mike is
koifishbishhh: does he do standup
koifishbishhh: actually guessing not if he was going to the karaoke night lol
Aileen_de: No, he’s not a comedian, just a regular. Super nice person, though. I think he had some management position at the botanical gardens.
Aileen_de: He comes in sometimes on the weekends and most Tuesdays to drink and sing, almost always with his girlfriend.
Aileen_de: Wife, sorry.
koifishbishhh: what happened
Aileen_de: Well, he was making his way on the stage to sing and was a tiny bit drunk, and he fell flat on his face after accidentally knocking a speaker over.
koifishbishhh: he okay?
Aileen_de: Um, no.
Aileen_de: He stopped moving as soon as he hit the floor. Wasn’t breathing. We called 911 immediately, and they arrived crazy fast, but by the time they got here it had been way too long, if there was anything they could do in the first place.
koifishbishhh: holy fuck dude
koifishbishhh: i am sorry for being jokey i legitimately did not know
Aileen_de: It’s fine.
koifishbishhh: wait so he DIED?
koifishbishhh: omfg are you okay?
Aileen_de: I’m fine, thanks.
Aileen_de: And he didn’t.
koifishbishhh: oh thank god
Aileen_de: I’m sorry, shit wording. He’s in the hospital and is functionally brain dead. My understanding is that the damage is from the fall itself, since he didn’t have any super extended period without oxygen, but I don’t know that for sure.
koifishbishhh: dude i am so sorry
Aileen_de: I’m fine, really.
koifishbishhh: fuck dude that’s so scary
koifishbishhh: i don’t know him or his wife, but um shit
koifishbishhh: is he going to be okay
Aileen_de: Brain cells don’t heal.
koifishbishhh: i knew that i’m sorry i don’t know why i said that
koifishbishhh: fuck dude I’m sorry
koifishbishhh: is she gonna, um
koifishbishhh: you know
Aileen_de: From what I was told yesterday by a friend of his, almost definitely. He has a brother and sister who live up in another state and they’re coming down to see him before they do it. They each have young kids and had to find someone to leave them with, which took a day.
koifishbishhh: holy fuck i’m so sorry
koifishbishhh: did he have kids too?
Aileen_de: Stop apologizing, you didn’t do anything.
Aileen_de: And no, he didn’t.
koifishbishhh: i mean i know but, jeez dude
koifishbishhh: is she okay
koifishbishhh: i mean obviously not sorry
Aileen_de: I want to say that she’s doing as well as she can, but that’s not true from what I’ve heard. I didn’t really know her so I don’t want to comment. Obviously she’s going through hell. I know she definitely has people to be around right now, at least. It’ll probably be easier for her once it’s finished.
koifishbishhh: fuck fuck fuck
koifishbishhh: how did that even happen FUCK
koifishbishhh: it’s not even a stage, it’s like a single small step off the ground what the fuck
Aileen_de: Real life isn’t an action movie, Leah. Falls are really dangerous. Even if you’re standing on solid ground, if you get unlucky and land on your head in the wrong way like he did, that can be it.
koifishbishhh: um, shit
koifishbishhh: do you want to talk about it
Aileen_de: I really appreciate the offer, but I’m good.
Aileen_de: Talked out by this point.
Aileen_de: I was the person who gave him CPR while we waited, so a lot of people have been calling to ask if I was alright.
Aileen_de: I don’t mean to come off as an emotionless robot.
koifishbishhh: no no no you’re totally not
Aileen_de: Never, like, a random person dying in my bar, but I’ve lost people before, so it’s not my first time going through the motions. And those were family/friends. He was a regular and I saw him a lot, but I didn’t really “know” him, if that makes sense.
Aileen_de: Found out a lot more about him and his wife now than I ever did before. His grandparents were scorchstoners, someone told me. Mom too.
koifishbishhh: mf had a rough go of it
koifishbishhh: you sure you’re okay though
koifishbishhh: also wait i thought you said you’re setting up for the show???
Aileen_de: Yeah, I am. He tipped over one of the big speakers when he fell, and that landed on the wooden casting of the stage and made a giant hole right in the center of it. There’s a repair guy here and I’m watching him work while texting with you.
koifishbishhh: like, for next week?
Aileen_de: I still have to hold a show tonight, Leah.
Aileen_de: As much as I’d like to, I can’t just pause my business because of this, beyond yesterday. Bars don’t operate on wide profit margins. And open mic night is almost always the most packed the place gets all week.
Aileen_de: Again, I’m not being insensitive, but even as well as we do in comparison to most places it’s a constant struggle to stay afloat financially. I have to keep going.
koifishbishhh: i’m sorry i didn’t mean it like that
Aileen_de: I know.
koifishbishhh: but still, like
koifishbishhh: i get keeping the place open but will people even come to the show?
Aileen_de: Sarah (his wife’s name, btw, don’t think I said) specifically texted me that she wanted me to keep doing karaoke and all the other events, and not to close the place down any longer than I had to. She’s not blaming me/planning on suing or anything.
Aileen_de: Tiny chance her husband’s insurance company tries to go after me, because fuck insurance companies, but they don’t have any case.
Aileen_de: And maybe a tad heartless to say but I couldn’t afford not to do it even if she said the exact opposite. I obviously feel terrible about what happened but it really wasn’t anyone’s fault. My bar is safe and the guy was maybe a little buzzed. He tripped, it happens. Sad that he was just really unlucky.
Aileen_de: Also I’ve already been called/texted by a lot of comedians and regs and some friends of his who really want the show to go on this week. Sarah won’t be there but it’s a show of support thing. Like “we won’t let this get to us, we’ll honor him by laughing at life”. I didn’t see him any many shows that I remember but apparently he was big into comedy, so.
Aileen_de: That’s kind of all you can do when this stuff happens. Laugh, treasure memories, all that stuff.
koifishbishhh: okay, I get it
koifishbishhh: want to SUPER clarify that I was not trying to call you heartless
koifishbishhh: just didn’t know the context, was confused, sorry
Aileen_de: It’s fine, Leah. Really. Stop apologizing.
Aileen_de: To change the subject, what did you want to talk about?
koifishbishhh: oh um
koifishbishhh: it really doesn’t matter compared to this, don’t worry about it, we can talk later
Aileen_de: It’s slow rn, and all I need to do is keep an eye on this dude, so this is a good time.
Aileen_de: You said it was important.
koifishbishhh: it’s not
Aileen_de: Just because it’s not as big as an accidental death doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter.
koifishbishhh: um okay
koifishbishhh: well it’s about Del
Aileen_de: Is she okay?
koifishbishhh: well yeah
koifishbishhh: i mean, well, it’s not about her being okay or not
koifishbishhh: so when you weren’t here during the last show she kind of um
koifishbishhh: del stole a joke from makin
Aileen_de: She stole a joke? Which joke?
koifishbishhh: the bit he does about robbing the computer store
Aileen_de: Which joke specifically?
koifishbishhh: like, the entire routine
Aileen_de: It’s like a full two minute thing. Seriously?
Aileen_de: Don’t mess with me.
koifishbishhh: i wouldn’t, she did, i was there
koifishbishhh: makin is REALLY fucking mad about it
Aileen_de: Was there any confrontation?
koifishbishhh: no she was already going last like usual so almost everybody left including makin
koifishbishhh: he found out because someone was filming it
koifishbishhh: so he’s been on kind of a rampage in the group chat about it
koifishbishhh: he says he wants her banned forever, last straw kind of thing
Aileen_de: I know that she can be kind of a handful, but she never stole jokes before, right?
koifishbishhh: or at least, we’ve never caught her doing it if she was
koifishbishhh: considering what her sets are like i really doubt anything came from anyone else
Aileen_de: Look, it’s open mic, nobody’s great.
koifishbishhh: you know it’s different with her
koifishbishhh: also are you defending her?
Aileen_de: I acknowledge that it’s really bad if she did that. I’ll talk to her.
koifishbishhh: makin wants her banned for life rn
koifishbishhh: again, he’s super mad about it
koifishbishhh: says he will never come back if she’s allowed to
Aileen_de: Did anyone talk to her about it? What did she say?
koifishbishhh: she says it’s an accident, i feel pretty confident in that it’s bullshit
koifishbishhh: she said she really liked makin’s material so she listened to phone recordings she made a bunch of times to “study his methodology”
koifishbishhh: and then that she was really really tired or something and that it just slipped out without thinking
Aileen_de: I mean, that’s not impossible.
koifishbishhh: maybe not for like a one-liner or something, but again, a whole two minute routine
koifishbishhh: and it’s the computer store bit
koifishbishhh: that’s like, such a classically makin bit
koifishbishhh: there’s no way she didn’t know she was going to get caught
Aileen_de: See, that’s my thinking, though.
Aileen_de: I know Del can be eccentric sometimes but I really don’t think she’d just do that knowing how quickly she’d be caught and how seriously we’d take it.
koifishbishhh: well my assumption is that she thought it was funny or something to steal it and thought he’d laugh it off
koifishbishhh: and he didn’t because, yeah, he shouldn’t
koifishbishhh: so she backpedaled
koifishbishhh: plagiarism is really fucking shitty
koifishbishhh: the BIGGEST fucking thing that you aren’t supposed to do outside of pulling a kramer
koifishbishhh: like I can forgive everything but that
Aileen_de: Can you let me talk to her before doing anything else? And can you tell that to Makin? I don’t want him going off and doing anything rash.
koifishbishhh: you don’t want HIM doing anything rash?
koifishbishhh: aileen why tf are you going out of your way to defend her
koifishbishhh: he will threaten to leave and go somewhere else and a lot will follow him
koifishbishhh: kick her out, she doesn’t give a shit anyway
koifishbishhh: no more fucking school shooting puns every night, sounds good to me
koifishbishhh: i’ll miss seeing bulbul but it’s worth it, honestly
Aileen_de: Look, I love Makin, but it’s my bar and my show. This city has a small scene, and I have the best weekly place by far. He knows that. I don’t think he’s going to try running off to make the hourly drive to Rutla or start going to the Coffee Clamp with all the beat poets on Sunday afternoons, but if he wants to, best of luck to him.
koifishbishhh: he didn’t even do anything wrong I don’t get you
koifishbishhh: like I mean this is a nice way, why not kick her out
koifishbishhh: you’re raving about business stuff being important after the literal dead body and this girl is here every week pulling her bs and annoying people
koifishbishhh: you seriously don’t think you’ve ever lost repeat business because of the jokes she’s made?
koifishbishhh: i know you shut it down but a lot of people still want the blanket ban on people under 18 being allowed to perform. they have that in a lot of places
Aileen_de: Isn’t she the only underage comedian?
koifishbishhh: yes. that’s the point
Aileen_de: Okay, listen, she’s seventeen and is clearly going through some shit. I know she can be a handful but every time I’ve spoken to her she has cold stopped whatever the problem was. She said racist jokes once and I told her to quit and she never did it again. She bothered patrons, one talk, never again. More examples, too. She’s been coming here for two years and she clearly likes being here, I’m not kicking her out over this.
koifishbishhh: you know i’m not saying this to start an argument and i have so much respect for you but if anyone else did this you’d be reeling
koifishbishhh: and if it was one of your jokes you’d be pissed too
Aileen_de: If anyone but Del was the one who did it, yeah. But again, she’s young and clearly not that socially experienced.
koifishbishhh: yeah, i can, uh tell
koifishbishhh: “huehuehue edgy school shooting jokes lol XD!! DAE think penises are WEIRD LOOKING lolol! god religious ppl are soo dumb lulz!!!”
koifishbishhh: again this is what happens when you let in high schoolers
koifishbishhh: nothing against her personally
koifishbishhh: i mean, a little against her
Aileen_de: She has not done those really bad school shooting puns in over a year, and everyone’s still ragging on her about it. It says a lot that a group of twenty and thirty and forty somethings still feel the need to make fun of a depressed seventeen year old.
koifishbishhh: she told you she was depressed?
Aileen_de: If she’s not depressed, she’s something. I don’t know if it’s school or a shitty home life or whatever but she comes three hours before every show and stays until way after it’s over, and I’m not going to ask but realistically speaking that’s because she doesn’t want to be at home.
Aileen_de: She likes and looks up to a lot of you, Makin especially, even when some people feel the need to talk shit about her both behind her back and right to her face. I talk to her the most out of anyone and she doesn’t offer stuff up but she’s dropped small hints about her parents being real crap people and I’m inclined to believe her.
Aileen_de: Really good chance she doesn’t have a lot of friends her age. Maybe she stole a joke on purpose for some shitty prank and said it at 1am at the end of a show when only six people are left anyway, and that’s fucked, but I’m not going to pretend that it’s equivalent to professional level theft or anything serious.
Aileen_de: I will talk to her about it and I’ll use my serious voice and 99.99% chance she’ll apologize to Makin and stop because that’s what she always does. She just hasn’t learned boundaries for whatever reason. That’s really all it is.
koifishbishhh: she knows not to steal after coming for two years
Aileen_de: Yes, but that’s probably not what it actually was meant to be, and I feel that you know that. She needs to be told stuff a little more directly than most people and that never happened with this, I’m guessing. Implied rules don’t totally work with her. She’s just desperate for attention and if she’s not constrained she reaches out for it in whatever way she can, I think.
Aileen_de: I get the impression that she considers the place a second home and I don’t want to put her in a dangerous mindset because I’ve been where she’s been and it’s really really shit when you’re that age. She might’ve fucked up and I promise I’ll talk to Makin and calm him down but can you please understand me valuing the feelings of someone who’s in a bad position versus the minuscule artistic awfulness of her one screw up? Please? I’m asking as a favor to me.
koifishbishhh: okay, fine, I’m sorry
koifishbishhh: that’s pretty reasonable
koifishbishhh: you’re a better person than me, thinking about people on this type of level
Aileen_de: Again, just have been there myself and I know what it’s like. Comedy was a great escape for me and a way to meet cool people and that’s probably what it is to her. Or what it can be.
Aileen_de: Can, like, we also not make a habit of mocking her, especially for things she said literally over a year ago? Not calling you out specifically but I doubt even a fraction of the comedians here had the courage to go up at fifteen. I did not, I know you didn’t, and Makin for sure didn’t. Literally nobody is good when they start out, and all teenagers love shock humor. I have seen people forty years her senior walk up to the microphone and do exactly what she did, and I know you and everyone else has too at some point, so I don’t want people to act like it’s an age thing because it’s really not. Beginners and even most long standing people at open mics are universally shit and you all know that.
Aileen_de: And I want to be fair to Makin. If she does it again after I talk to her, and she has never done anything again after I’ve talked to her, I’ll ban her for a month or longer or something, depending. Okay?
koifishbishhh: sorry again
koifishbishhh: i’ll try and give her more consideration/pushing others to do the same
Aileen_de: It’s fine, again, please don’t apologize.
Aileen_de: I just want everybody to get along and have a nice time.
Aileen_de: And buy more drinks
Aileen_de: Well, except her bc I’ll go to jail
Aileen_de: Can you give me Makin’s phone number? I’ll call him. Would text but jfc my thumbs hurt now
koifishbishhh: yeah, i’ll send it over in a bit. sorry about mike again
Aileen_de: And stop apologizing!
koifishbishhh: lol sorry
koifishbishhh: whoops lol
koifishbishhh: sorry about that sorry
koifishbishhh: no i’m in a loop help sorry sorry sorry
koifishbishhh: aileen heeeeeeelllllppp meeee sorrrrrrrrryyyyyyy
Aileen_de: I really hope that’s not your material for tonight Leah
Aileen_de: Also fuck my thumbs, I need a drink. Ttyl
koifishbishhh: ttyl, peace